Have you ever wondered why do you still miss your ex after a breakup? That you are looking at all the good times, good qualities, good interactions, then latch on to the good to miss your ex more?
If you don’t believe me, next time it happens, pay attention and write it down.
When we live in the past it takes our joy away. It doesn’t allow us to grow or change. Retraining your brain to live in the present allows the appreciation of the past, but doesn’t keep you stuck there. We are not capable of looking at the truths of situations if we stay in the past.
Some examples are: I miss how we talked, which hasn’t been a reality for a long time. Staying here with your thoughts causes you a ton of pain. Another is, people tend to bring up mistakes made in the past. This doesn’t allow healing and moving forward.
Also people spend a lot of time in the future. Always planning for things that may never happen. I had a friend keep saying in 6 months if this happens I’m going to do xyz. This was happening almost every time we talked. So I asked how it felt inside planning all the time. She said it was exhausting she felt anxious in her gut all the time. This isn’t the most comfortable way to live.
Goals are different than planning because you control the goals and your actions in achieving them. Planning what you’re going to do with someone in 6 months right after your first date is living in the future.
Here’s the thing, living in the present allows you to appreciate the past and allows you to look forward to the future without having to plan every little detail. Especially when your plans are dependent on others to do something.
Staying in the present allows greatness to happen. It keeps you enjoying the joy in your life you may never see because you were too busy looking back and forward.
A clarity comes when we are living in the today.
Here’s an article on overthinking your relationship if you want to read more about why we do this.
Would you like help learning to live in the present? Let’s talk about it…