What’s going on in our brains?

 It’s important to see what we are telling ourselves when we aren’t paying attention. Did you know our brains have 60,000 thoughts a day…yes per day.  When dealing with a break up, we don’t notice where those 60,000 thoughts take us. To be fair, most people don’t know anyway, but when in pain like a break up the thoughts can be especially cruel.

Here’s an activity to help notice the thoughts.

Put a timer on for 10 minutes. Write everything that pops in your mind without editing. Write the whole time. Let it flow.

Once the timer is done, go through the list. What do you notice? How do you feel about what you wrote down? (This isn’t time to feel bad or judge it, just to notice). Go through the list and ask yourself if it’s a fact and true. Is what you said provable in court with facts or is it your opinion. Here’s an example especially for my gamers: “she unblocked me in game and that means we can talk again.”  Only part of that is fact it’s the unblocked. Her intentions are unknown and you may find your mind running away with you trying to figure it out. Notice the stories you tell yourself.

With the stories or opinions decide if it is something you want to continue to believe or not. If not, can you let it go? (Insert the Frozen song if you want here).

Please remember your opinions/stories are allowed to be changed or released if they are no longer serving you.

So what if something isn’t serving you how do you ditch it?  Let’s try this one…

She’s posting things so I can see it. <~ is this true?  Can you possibly know, even if she says yes I am, could she just be saying anything to try to harm you?  

Would you like another way to view it so you feel like stuff isn’t happening to you but empowered and feel in control?

She’s posting stuff. <~ fact provided she is (provable in court)

Potential empowering thoughts: I’m going to hit that block button or unfollow because I don’t need to see that in my life right now.  This is empowering because you’re not allowing things to happen to you. You’re taking control of what you can and that’s your actions to remove it from your sight.

Ok now work through the rest of the list on what can you control or not control.

Are the items true?  

Are they serving you?

If not can you dump them?

Doing work like this allows you to not torture yourself, helps from creating stories to make you feel badly and overall feeling terrible.

Breakups are hard enough without adding self inflicted drama. Take care of you and your mental health.

Need help? Let’s chat about your list.