When thinking should I get back together with my ex try this exercise to decide if this is a good idea for you.
- What you need: 10 minutes (set your timer), paper/pen or use notes on your phone
- Take a few deep breaths
- Start writing down everything about your ex and relationship. Do not edit yourself. Put it all down. The good, the bad, the ugly of it all.
When the 10 minutes is up, go take a quick walk around the house or block. This gives you a little time to walk away from your mental download. It allows you to come back a little more clear before analyzing what you have written.
Upon return, look at the list. Go through and ask yourself if each item is true or if that is what really happened.
Is what you said a full picture or do you keep telling yourself a story about the facts? Facts cannot hurt you and are provable in court. So when you are reviewing, look for the facts not your opinion on things.
Once you have reviewed your list and questioned the items on the list about your ex and your relationship, ask how you have changed to make the relationship work this time.
Spend the time to self examine. Be really honest with yourself…what has changed? Clearly it didn’t work for many reasons. Why now would it work? Remember continuing how it was before won’t work. So you need to figure out why it will work this time.
Lastly, can you actually start a new chapter with your ex? Bringing up old shit isn’t going to make this relationship work. You need to do your work first so you can come in and start fresh so it can work. At least on your side.
Getting back with an ex can work, but you must put the effort into learning the lessons on what happened the first time. You need to unload your baggage before trying again.
Be really honest with yourself with what went wrong and what you are doing to fix that.
Lastly, get to the point of knowing why you want to get back together before you try. You need to make sure you aren’t just lonely and want someone around, that you actually getting back together with an ex is best for you. Your whole ex not bits and pieces of your ex.
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Set up an appointment with me to help work through if you want to get back with your ex