The Jerry McGuire comment of “you complete me” is really quite toxic and extremely codependent. Needing someone to feel complete isn’t what should be aimed for in a relationship.
If you are wanting someone to complete you, there is a lot of work to be done until you complete yourself.
Completing yourself allows you to welcome someone into your life without feeling the extra pressure of someone must complete you. This pressure will make the relationship harder to work and finding the “complete you part” when you aren’t even sure what you need to be complete will set you both up for failure.
When you have two people that complete themselves, you end up with a relationship you choose to stay in and work together instead of a relationship you feel you MUST stay in because you are afraid of being on your own.
How do you go about being complete on your own?
Figure out who you are
- Your likes
- Dislikes
- Hobbies
- Escapes
- What brings you joy
- Etc
If you do not know how to do something where can you learn it? Who can you call, what can you do?
- Being prepared to solve your own things that comes up gives you a sense of self worth and accomplishment.
Let’s take the pandemic. What if you relied on your ex to do all the cooking for you. You have been grabbing take out or going out. Now you can’t. What do you do?
- Learn! Follow a recipe, youtube, cooking channels etc what if you actually like it?
Freedom comes being able to switch into…oh I got this mode if you have to. Having your own back and completing yourself is a sexy af trait.
Why is completing yourself so important?
You take all your power back. You don’t live life in fear that the relationship might not work. Instead, you being complete on your own can have a relationship that is equal in contribution and choice to make it work. Or maybe not work but be clear so you can get out of it without fear you NEED that person to be ok.
This is work most people do not think about, but if you sep into completing yourself, life gets way easier.
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