Ok so maybe your ex is doing some nasty things to you or your ex is talking bad about you. Maybe it hurts because they aren’t true. Maybe they are true which is worse when you realize it.
You may want to set the record straight or maybe you want to tell her what she’s done or maybe you just want to yell at her. I get it, I truly do, but shit talking your ex says more about you than what you are saying.
What do I mean by that? Well you have ZERO control over what they say about you, but you have all the control over how you react.
I had a client whose ex was HORRIBLE to him. She said lots of mean shit, started hurtful rumors, and made him feel terrible. He could have yelled and screamed, sent her mean shit back, but do you actually feel better inside afterward? Does it take the pain away? Or does your reacting back in the same fashion prove her points about you?
Think about that for a second. Did you just prove her story of hateful smearing that it was warranted by your outburst?
Here’s a better way. Ignore her, ask yourself if it’s true, if it’s really, really true.
If yes again, are you ok with it? Do you want yourself described as that? If so, own it, love it, enjoy it. If not, what do you need to do to fix it? What steps do you need to take to work on it?
Their shit talking shows their character not yours. They are deciding to go there, you aren’t. If you’ve already gone there, no worries start fresh and stop reacting.
If you decide to react and talk badly about them, decide consciously. Know the risks. Notice how you feel afterword. Does your pain leave once you do it? Make the decision where you are comfortable with the consequences. If you’re good with that, go for it. But please remember, don’t be mad after whatever happens as a result of your choice.
Would you like to discuss how to handle your ex shit talking you? Let’s talk about it…