Have you said, “I don’t have support to get over a breakup”? That doesn’t feel great. But, that doesn’t mean you will forever be stuck in the relationship hangover.
Here are some things you can do on your own to help you get over your breakup…
What are you telling yourself?
Learn to notice what you are telling yourself. We have 60,000 thoughts a day and really don’t babysit our thinking. This can cause us additional pain including thinking “I don’t have the social support to get over my breakup.
Paying attention and questioning what you are thinking is a solo mission. Use this cheat sheet to help you learn how to question your thoughts.
The next tool you can use is write a letter (don’t send it to your ex or anyone else). This activity gets everything floating in your brain out on paper. You can do this as often as you need or feel you want to talk about or through your breakup.
When you are done, read it over. Pick apart what is true/fact and what is opinion/story. Is the opinion/story hurting your feelings? Why do you keep telling yourself them? You don’t have to. Feel free to discuss any and all opinions/and stories that feel shitty. This takes time to master, but just because your ex said it, doesn’t make it true. You don’t have to buy it.
When is the last time you celebrated you?
Write down everything you really like about you, what you are deserving of, your strengths as a human etc.
Give yourself a little love. You deserve it. This is important to celebrate yourself especially if you don’t feel supported while managing your breakup. This falls under self care. Self care is important to how you feel metally. Sometimes my clients forget to do this as they manage their breakup blues.
A recent piece I added into my selfcare routine is Headspace meditation app. It has helped me to learn to calm my mind. I can use it for 3 minutes as long as I want. Learning to dismiss my thoughts that didn’t serve me has brought a lot of peace into my life.
My favorite part is this amazing thing called sleep casts. It’s like a bedtime story that knocks me out in minutes. For someone who has a mind race, this is a huge benefit to fall asleep quickly.
Get up and get out
The last suggestion I have is when feeling like you don’t have the social support to get over your breakup is to go out and meet new people. I suggest meetup.com to my clients. You roughly have a 2 hour commitment to go out with new people and try new things. Getting out and doing something different breaks your routine. This can help your thinking about not having social support and meeting new people at the same time. Taking the leap of going to some meetups can boost confidence and be surrounded by people who have a shared common interest.
I hope some of these or all of these tips I share with clients helps you manage your breakup easier.
For more on breakup pain and managing it, click here
Schedule a session with me here