I was scanning social media today and I saw someone who still missed their ex from 20 years ago.
Instantly I had questions…
Did this guy actually miss his ex from 20 years ago or did he have this unicorns and rainbows picture of this said relationship.
How does he know it would still work after all this time? Does he realize he has changed and so has she over the years?
Is he living in this world he has created over the last 20 years thinking this person is the perfect person for him? How can that feel good? How does that allow him to engage in new relationships and be successful if you are still wanting and dreaming of someone 20 years ago?
Further questions were, is he really missing her? This woman from 20 years ago or is he missing the idea of love when he was younger and carefree without the baggage of being an adult and adult responsibilities? Is it really her or the idea of this great life he thought he had with her?
Here’s the thing, It’s ok to take as long as you need to get over someone. But you also need to do the work and be super realistic on the relationship and the person. Remembering only the good things and not taking into account growing and changing and adult responsibilities while constantly living in the past can harm the joy today that you create.
If you find yourself missing someone after a very long period of time, ask yourself these simple questions and see what you come up with and gain some clarity.
Would you like to speak with someone to gain clarity? Let’s talk about it…