Well, there is no one size fits all when it comes to how long does it take a man to get over a broken heart. Each human handles breakups and life differently.
Some grieve the relationship right after a breakup because it’s what feels right to them.
Some put the breakup in their apartments and continue to live their daily life. Eventually that will bubble up and everyone has to deal with their breakup baggage and pain.
What I have learned when asked: How long does it take a man to get over a breakup is one of a couple things.
- Trying to figure out if you are doing your breakup recovery right or wrong.
- Wondering if your ex is over you already while you are still hurting
- If someone is ready to date after a breakup.
Let me break this all down a little more to help answer your questions.
Are you handling your breakup wrong?
NO! Grieve your relationship. Do what you feel is right. Be sad, be upset, be frustrated, be hurt, cry. It is ok to not be ready to date. It is ok to take as much time as you need to be in a better place and work through your break up. Learn the lessons from your relationship so you know what you want in your life moving forward.
If you are someone who puts everything in their compartments and go along with your world with very little change after your breakup, that is fine too. Make sure you are paying attention to things and how they feel. Such as, if you are quick to date again, is it because you are lonely and miss having someone around or are you ready to date.
Are you on a distraction diet? Distraction diets are when you are not dealing with the things that make you feel not great inside. It’s our avoidance tactics such as going out more than usual, drinking or smoking more than usual, deep diving into a video game past your normal level, spending money that you normally wouldn’t spend, serial dating etc. There is nothing wrong with this, but notice what you are doing. Be very honest with yourself so you are aware of your choices. Notice when it stops being fun or ends up being too much work. Then revisit your breakup recovery and adjust.
I have clients who immediately start their breakup grieving and some who start it 6 months to a year after the breakup.
You aren’t doing anything wrong in your breakup recovery. Just make sure you are paying attention to what is going on inside you so you are able to adjust. In life we don’t want everything to happen to us with no knowledge of what is going within our control.
If you wonder if your ex is over you already…
The crazy stuff we tell ourselves really does hurt our feelings. Wondering how long does it take a man o get over a breakup means you are more worried about what your ex is doing instead of your own recovery. You ex is managing the breakup however he sees fit. That does NOT mean that your time together didn’t matter or that he is already over you. He is recovering his own way and that has nothing to do with your value or your worth.
Worrying about what he is doing is probably making you hurt so much more. Let him process the breakup how he wants and you process your breakup your way.
It isn’t a competition on who is right in how breakup recovery is done. The faster you move away from this thinking, the easier your breakup grieving process will get.
Are you ready to date after a breakup?
Only you know this. I will say if you keep talking about your ex, you probably aren’t ready and still have some work to do. You want to be able to go into dating without bringing a ton of your breakup baggage with you. Here you can see more on what breakup baggage is and why it hurts new relationships.
There is nothing wrong with trying to see if you are ready to date, but be honest with yourself if you are lonely but still not emotionally available to date. You will know if you are or aren’t by paying attention to how you feel and stopping long enough to ask yourself what is really going on.
Being honest with yourself saves you from a whole lot of bullshit later. Do the work up front so it doesn’t take over your whole world once it all catches up to you.
Wrap up:
There is no wrong way to do your breakup. Asking how long does it take a man to get over a broken heart can’t really be answered. Listen to yourself, be honest with how you are feeling, and be realistic with yourself.
How’s your breakup pain going? Check out how to manage it easier
Are you struggling with your breakup and want to chat? Let’s talk about it….