How long does it take for men to get over breakup pain? If you are still hurting what can you do to feel better quicker?
As a life coach that works with men after breakups, I can tell you that breakup pain and hurting after a breakup is normal and natural. This is all part of the process, but it also gives you an opportunity to grow and explore who you are now.
I hear if I was stronger I would feel better already and my breakup wouldn’t hurt…
Only weak guys hurt after a breakup…
Guys should brush the breakup off…
NOPE!
This is 100% wrong. All this thinking is wrong. A broken heart has nothing to do with strength or weakness. It’s what happens after a breakup and the hurt that comes with that breakup
Here’s the thing, there’s no timeline on how long it takes to feel better. It has a lot to do with how much work is put in, dealing with anger and hurt.
Here’s what I see from my clients:
- Continuing to wish things were different.
- Jealous she’s seeing someone else.
- Only looking back at all the things that were great.
- Wishing she would be honest, own something she did, expect her to behave a certain way. You can’t control what she does.
All these are normal but, prolong the pain and heartbreak, however all these things help you grow as humans. It allows self examination, reflection, and deciding what you want and don’t want in your life.
Here are some tips I use with my clients to help with breakup pain:
- Start noticing what you are telling yourself when you feel badly.
- Notice if you are living in the past or future. (this always…always causes pain)
- Ask yourself if it’s true? (like really, really true)
- If you are expecting someone to behave like you want, you will always be disappointed.
Heartbreak takes time. Be gentle with yourself. Know there is no timeline and you will be ok. Clean hurting is ok and will pass. Try this cheatsheet to help with your breakup pain