After a breakup this is a huge problem for my clients. There is this want to keep things the same so you can remember their ex, but in doing that, it makes your life miserable because everything around you makes you think of your ex.
It’s important to clean stuff left behind by your ex. I go into this further here. Having your ex’s stuff around causes you additional pain. You don’t need to throw it away, but get it out of sight.
Most of the time it’s the memories and stories you tell yourself with the things that are around you that remind you of your ex. It’s not the actual things you are remembering. Notice when you do it. Are you remembering the item or the memories that goes with it?
Eliminating the things will help you not replay those memories or stories as often that go with those items.
As I mentioned earlier, you need to be really mindful of what you are saying to yourself. Make sure you aren’t replying only the good memories. This hurts you more as you get over a breakup. You need to look at the relationship as a whole. The good, bad, and the ugly of it so you are being realistic about it instead of the unicorns and rainbows thinking that happens after a breakup.
Having your ex’s things around, going to all the same places to eat, not changing up your routine can also trigger feeling like everything around you reminds you of your ex.
I suggest to my clients to change it up. Explore new things. Go back to your old favorites once you stop feeling like everything around you reminds you of your ex.
The positive with this is, you may find some hidden gems that you would have never found before.
Struggling with your breakup pain still? Check this out
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