Do you catch yourself being angry with your ex or being angry at what your ex did to you? Holding on to anger toward your ex will continue to haunt you and all future relationships. Yes, maybe your ex did shitty things, but they are going on about their lives potentially not caring about their actions. So, it’s you that is holding onto it and suffering.
This is a choice to hold onto it. I know that sounds crazy, but let me explain…
I was so pissed at my ex. How could he do this to me? Did he even feel badly?
Being pissed consumed my life. Questioning why cycled through my brain it felt constantly. That silent rage I felt inside me for a year finally got to a point to where I had to do something.
I started working with a coach who helped me get through closure without walking to my ex. She helped me to stop being pissed. I stopped asking questions that in the grand scheme, just didn’t matter. The one thing that changed my life was this question, “would it matter what he said if you already don’t believe anything he says because of all the lies he told”?
Game Changing!
Holding onto being angry with your ex will make it difficult to date. That is some big time baggage.
Why is dating while still being angry with your ex not the best idea?
- Anger shows up when talking about your ex.
- It shows up in fights
- Anger has you looking for flaws or stuff your date does that your ex did.
- It can consume you so you are closed off and emotionally not available.
- One foot in the relationship and one foot out already
There are many ways this shows up, so pay attention to what you are thinking to see if you are having anger show up.
How to get rid of anger?
Ask yourself why you are angry? Get down and dirty with it and be brutally honest with yourself. Write it down so you get it out of your head. As you write it down, do not hold back. You need to see all the reasons you are still angry.
When you are done, question each thing. Go through to figure out if it’s true.
Weed through the truths and decide if it’s worth still being angry. What is holding onto the anger doing for you? How does it help your life hanging onto the anger? Does it actually hurt your ex by you being angry?
Anger is really difficult, but you get to decide when you no longer want to keep it around. You get to decide when you don’t want to give your anger control over your life.
Struggling with anger toward your ex? Let’s talk about it
How to get over the breakup pain here